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Posts published in “Satire”

Not Satisfied With Just Having Summers Off, Teachers Push For Fall, Winter, Spring

“I am just way overworked having to go in nine months out of the year,” said Mrs. Mosley, a third-grade teacher from Seattle. “Can’t we get the fall off? And when winter rolls around, I mean, it’s cold. Who wants to go to work in the winter? This is the problem with capitalism: you have to work for food and…

Modern-Day Good Samaritan Sees Injured Man On Side Of Road, Angrily Tweets About Republicans | The Babylon Bee

LOL! NEW YORK, NY—Greg Klein was walking home when he saw an injured man on the side of the road. Much like the good Samaritan in Jesus’s parable, Klein acted swiftly. He immediately took out his phone and let his rival political party have it on Twitter. “Just look at what’s happening because Republicans care about corporations and not the…

Ocasio-Cortez Suddenly Shifts To Speaking Like Jar Jar Binks While Addressing Crowd Of Gungans

LOL! NABOO—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has come under fire after giving a speech to a crowd of Gungan supporters on the planet of Naboo. Critics claim Ocasio-Cortez clearly shifted her speaking style to try to emulate the Gungans’ speech patterns, changing her speech to sound exactly like that of Jar Jar Binks.”Meesa Ocasio-Cortez. Meesa … More: Ocasio-Cortez Suddenly Shifts To Speaking…

Nation’s Progressives Issue Friendly Reminder That If You Don’t Agree With Them On Everything They Will Destroy You

Lol! U.S.—Progressive spokespeople issued a statement this morning offering a friendly reminder that if you don’t agree with them on every last issue they will absolutely destroy you.”It doesn’t matter if you’re with us on 90% of issues. If you disagree on one thing, we will make it our goal to ruin your career, your livelihood, and your repu ……

Church Bassist Admits He Just Plays Journey Riff For Every Worship Song

COOKEVILLE, TN—After being confronted by the leadership team at Maple Street Baptist Church, local church bassist Steve “Jazz Hands” Bronson admitted Friday that he’s just played a Journey bassline for every worship song since he began playing bass for the church over eight years ago.The scandal was uncovered when church sound guy John … Source: Church Bassist Admits He Just Plays…

A Handy Guide To Facial Expressions

  How do you tell if someone is hatefully sneering at you or just smiling? It’s a difficult task.We consulted with over five hundred facial expression experts, showing them various images and asking them to identify which ones were a normal human emotion and which ones were literally Hitler. If a video ever comes out of someone making one of…